Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Only when we are at the limits we evolve!

Things are so simple and pure sometimes but we just can not see it, grasp it ... and when we feel that we can not do more and we are at the limit we come back to the essence, to the roots and try to look for some answers there, actually in ourselves!

2008 was an year that definitely thought me to come back to the "old simple me" and try to gather the energy and power I needed in order to pass through the most interesting and challenging year of my life!

Starting this great adventure of my life helped me understand myself and get the power and confidence that I needed so much in order to believe in myself and the things I can do by my own. I would have never imagined some years ago, that the things I've been raised with ... my culture, reality and people would change in a matter of days and I that I would feel the same Malina but in a different movie :)

Actually the movie started in the 19th of May 2008 like a true romantic story ... sea, full moon, new people that were trying to prepare me for a big road. I truly started walking that road, playing the same character I played all my life ... a true optimistic, innocent, transparent, workaholic girl that wants to help people around her. Still in some months, I considered my character is from another film and will never fit in the initial story so I closed myself in a room full of frustration and worries trying to understand and to encounter those solutions that will bring me back to the light.

So I did, helped by some great people that in a strange way become my friends and best friends ... being here or away they were able to help me discover and find in myself those elements that can bring the smile on my face every morning!

I am another person for sure ... but deep inside the same pure and simple Mali that is fighting for a cause! For sure only when we are at the limits we evolve!

Happy 2009!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Happiness! :)

During the important moments of our lives, during moments of celebrating or relaxation we often think about what would make us happy and what are the things that we still need in our lives ... and most of the time we get to the conclusion we need love, money, time, etc. etc. but more importantly we need PEOPLE that can make us smile, that we can love and receive love back, that can help us get over the challenges we pass through ... that we need our best friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, family, colleagues to enjoy our life with :)

Actually most of the people will just like to feel happy and fulfilled during this moments! :)I know for sure that is the first thing I think about when I am making a wish :) Being happy! But what are actually the basis of our wishes? Why am I personally so keen on being happy and everything is so much translated through feelings and happiness?

We were discussing about the same issues one night and we got to the conclusion each of us is such a clear reflection of his past, his childhood, his parents ... We grow up having so well written in our head what we want for ourselves and our life when we grow big and we continue fighting for that even now (I don't necessarily refer to the job but more to the final image we have about ourselves).... some of us want to be like their parents, some of us actually want to be so much different ... Main thing, each of us have a different image upon happiness according to their past experiences!


I know for sure some months ago I had so clear in my head that "image of happiness" that I want to have when I would be older ... an image that I realized is so much based on the things I want to improve considering my past but in the same time so much based on how I was raised by my parents and grandmother ...

"Happiness means for me ... love and health ... being the same special individual that cares about people around me and has a little impact in their lives ... that loves to smile and enjoy each minute ... that is both "soft" and "hard" :P ... that is having a meaningful life ... a big family: me, my husband and 3 children; a beautiful house with a harden; a challenging and dynamic job that brings results both to myself and the entity I am working for; social involvement especially in what it means children education; incredible moments and people around me"

But what do I mean by ... some months ago I had so clear in my head the "image of happiness"? It's not that now I don't have it anymore ... it's just that this image is not complete if I will not be happy each and every moment of my life :) Actually this was a lesson I learned from a dear person to my heart ... that being happy is about the final "image" but is also about "the road". And thinking about the past, I realized he was so right ... I fight a lot for the things to happen in the way I want them to, but at some point I am so tired of the hard "road" that I can not enjoy my achievements and moments of true happiness.

Being here in Dominican Republic and having this great people around, helped me realize my happiness stands in my dreams, images, roads, moments and people ... in enjoying each of them with a smile on my face :) I truly feel I am doing that right now!!!

La multi ani draga mea! :D
Sarbatori Fericite tuturor!!!! :)

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Happy!



I am so happy!!!
My heart is beating incredibly hard ... I still can not believe it!! Why you would say?

Mainly because I have in my face another example of great people that believe in a dream, fight and achieve it ... good people that have so much to demonstrate to the world and have so much to offer to themselves and the people around them!
People that know more than all what work, hard moments and challenges mean ... but still they want to take an even bigger challenge and build something even greater in the next year :)

I am happy that ....


Vlad is the new MCP of AIESEC Romania 0910!!!
And the history was written again :D Another "Clujean" MCP!!!! :D


Iulian passed the confidence vote of AIESEC Romania :D One more step and he will be the MCVP LC development!!!
Arde Iasiul!!!!

Cami is the MCP of AIESEC Colombia 0910!!!
Passion and devotion 100%


Truly great people, different one from each other ... people I learned so much from ... people I wish all the best in the next year!!!
I wish them to continue making us proud and take AIESEC Romania and AIESEC Colombia to great results!!! :D

I have the feeling a small part of me is there with them right now and that makes me even more happy! Mo is arriving tomorrow :D so I can only say ... a truly happy and awesome day! Definitely a day to remember!!!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

YOU made MY day!

What do you do when you have no words?


When you go to sleep having Pato, Raga, Javi, Jenni wishing you Happy Birthday :)offering you presents ...

When you woke up in the morning with the voice of your mother wishing you to "be happy wherever you are and will be around the world" and transmitting you in a phone call all the emotions ever possible ...

When you get to the office and see an incredible present received from Mexico, one of the most beautiful ones in your life ....

When you start crying reading your email full with messages, wishes, smiles, hugs of your friends all around the world from Iasi, Cluj, Bucharest to Southern Cone, Serbia, Colombia, Puerto Rico ...

When you receive a huge cake from 2 of your trainees ...

When you receive phone calls from far far away ... when you call people close to your heart ... when skype, gmail talk, facebook keeps you close to them

When you receive a lovely movie from Denmark, a photo from your dear girls, a song from Iasi, a history ...

When your MC is organizing you the best dinner ever, cooking for 4 hours :)

When you end your day in a Karaoke Club together with the people you just met 7 months ago ...

What do you say when you are simply amazed of how many people you have by your side even though you are far away, how many people still remember you, how many people though of offering you the best day of your year ... just to bring you a smile, a tear of happiness, a wish :)

Sometimes I am thinking if we really deserve all these great things that happen to us, these people by your side ... and more than that if we truly appreciate it all the time???

Saying simply thank you is not enough ... sending emails, messages still not enough ... but YES thinking about them, keeping them in your heart for ever, being there for them, following their advices "never change", "enjoy this year" :)

Simple Love!!! <3
Words are not enough ...

Friday, December 12, 2008

Yes! I'm 24 :D

I was almost starting my post with ... "I have the feeling" :P ... and I am asking myself if I am ever going to change that :D I will try now :D

My mother was always laughing and joking on my birthdays of different facts about me ... that I was suppose to be the first boy of the family but apparently got to be a girl :P ... that I was born on the 12th of December at 3.40 am in a ugly and rainy winter morning ... that when I was born I was a big girl (almost 4 kg), "morenita", big black hair ... that she tough for some time if to really take me home from the hospital :P mainly because I was a "little bit ugly" :p until my uncle said "listen to me she is going to be a beautiful girl let's take her home" :D ... that I was eating and crying a lot ... loved to dance and listen to music ... always climbing trees and falling in my head ... loved to spent the holidays with my grandmother in Maramures ... acting like a grown-up when shopping, telling my parents not to buy so many things because we don't have money (the finance spirit was in me since I was little apparently, I am still doing the same with Raga now :D)... that I will be for always a BIG child :D

She was always, year by year singing me "Astazi e ziua ta, zi frumoasa ca tine!!!" and offering me incredible moments I will never forget ... Miss you so much!!!


So YES in 14 minutes I will be 24 :D ... Malina 24 :D where did the time go??? :D

My friends know that 12 of December is for me the happiest day of the year but also the saddest one ... I feel the same right now ... I would like to cry and smile in the same time ... I would like to be close to the people I love, in the same time I have right now by my side 4 of the most incredible people I have met until now and other lovely friends around the world ... I would like to be again little and not grow, start my life over and over again but in the same time I wouldn't have in my mind right now so many people to thank to, so many great moments ... so many hard experiences that made the new Malina that I am right now :)

And is not about what you have and don't have ... is about NOW and my ROAD! My ROAD of ... happiness, challenges, love, changes, places, people, smiles, tears ... words like ... THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU! YOU MADE MY DAY! YOU MAKE ME HAPPY! :) ... moments of being sure nothing can stop you; of dreaming and falling; of getting up and smile :)

Truly happy to be a crazy, transparent, optimistic, emotional Sagittarius ... to continue the 23 years off my life with another incredible one!!!

I will for sure enjoy it! ;)



August 2006, Sighisoara, Romania ... one of my favorite places in Romania and greatest memories with my friends :)

Monday, December 8, 2008

My light!

I have a great feeling right now ... finishing a great day ... a hard week and thinking about the future :)

I was thinking these days that I don't feel like the Christmas is coming because nothing is like Romania in December .... is not cold, not snowing, not big and natural Christmas trees, no Romanian carols, no agitated people buying everything they can as a present ... and I was feeling a little bit sad ... Thinking how I am going to have a Christmas in an environment where nothing besides the lights on the street remind me of Christmas. And today I realize is not necessarily because of that ... but of the feeling of Christmas, the emotions and people around you. Today it was another demonstration that the Colombian people are one of the most passionate and close to your heart people on this Earth (at least Pato and Javier are for me at this point). They know what makes them happy and they fight until they achieve that :)

Today is "Dia de las velitas"/"Candles Day" in Colombia and Pato and Javier organized it for us here :) In Colombia two days before the celebration they begin building the "faroles" ... carton figures that have candles inside ... big, small, all types. During the "Candles Day" they close their small streets and place in front of their house and in the yard the "faroles", they light them up, enjoy them together with their neighbors ... prepare a big dinner together the family, listen to music and then pray. We kind of did the same thing here ... since Friday we start preparing the "faroles", the small Christmas tree (strange for me because in Romania I was decorating the Christmas tree only on the 24th of December) ... today Pato prepared an incredible dinner with a special soup made of corn, chicken and potato and an incredible "crema de zahar ars" (in Romanian :P, for sure the best one in my life) ... we lightened "faroles" and candeles and set the table ... listen to Colombian music and enjoyed a great dinner :)

And my thoughts now after this incredible weekend ... you need so few things in life to be happy :) and how somebody was saying weeks ago ... the happiness is so much more than the final image but the ROAD! So true!!! Having this great people around me during this road is just a simple reason for me to be happy :)

Discovering day by day the Colombian spirit, the Romanian flavor and the Dominican spicy :D

Love you guys!!!


Pato preparing the "munequitos" for the Christmas Tree



Raga and Javi preparing the "faroles"



Pato the "faroles guru" :P



Our small but cute Christmas Tree



The "Faroles"



:)



Us :)



The image in my head now going to sleep :)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I believe!


I believe the Sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people’s hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because is bad for you
I believe you parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe the beautify magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I’m loved when I’m completely by myself, alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get return
I believe you can’t appreciate real love until you’ve been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye


I believe you can’t control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are you heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe that struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get return
I believe you can’t appreciate real love until you’ve been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don’t know what you’ve got until you say goodbye


I believe in Love surviving death into Eternity! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpvwxK7F2BI

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Small things in life!!!!

Is incredible how some small and crazy things can make you happy :)

I was telling you in my last post that I miss so my much Romania and my friends .... first time feeling a true homesick and wanting to be for some minutes in the same place as last year :) Well yesterday a random thing just supplied me with the needed feelings in order to pass over this homesick :P

Yesterday morning Dey (ex. PAI, working in Lisbon right now and chair of NTS 08 Conference in Romania) asked Raga (Dey and Raga know each other through blogging :P)if he can say some words in front of the 400 members present in the National Preparation Seminar through a skype conference. He said yes but he suggested me also to participate, and together to say some words about our experience in Dominican Republic.


Waiting for some time, both of us like two little children in front of the camera waiting to get on "live" ... and Dey was calling us ... I could say only sheet :P (sorry of the word) ... incredible feeling, I was trembling through all my senses ... long time I didn't have that feeling ... incredibly happy and emotional :) Is impossible for me to explain or relive it, I just know that when I saw the members, the plenary room in Amara ... all my memories of last year, NTS 2007 ... conference manager, great facilitators, incredible members, my broken hand, the Awards Gala ... my memories of NPS 2006 ... OCP, challenges, ONE team, ups and downs, 5 hours of sleep in 10 days, Sustainability Day ... everything became so clear to me ... my 5 years of AIESEC were "present" again in my daily life :)

It was no more than 5 minutes of sharing from my and Raga's part ... where are we on the map :P, how was our experience until now and our wishes for the members ... words from the heart ... still with a trembling voice :)

And afterward I was thinking ... how come talking in front of 200/500 people, having interviews during TV shows, talking in Spanish in front of the Alumni and partners during the 20th Anniversary event and many more ... don't make me that emotional and trembling :P

Strange feeling that I loved!!! My homesick just stopped instantly!!!
Truly happy and smiling ;)

p.s. And I just received an email

"Hei,
Te-am vazut live din plenara! Cam 400 de tineri!
Cluju te saluta si te pupa!
P.S: inca vb. repede cand esti emotionata
Hug de la mine si multumim!"

Thank you guys!!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I miss ...

A feeling of MISSING just stroke me ... my life in Romania; old days in AIESEC's office in Cluj (dorm 14, recruitment period, Xavi, Foaie Verde Cluj, elections); finance meetings and team buildings in my house; NPS 2006 in Sovata and the great people around me at that moment in time; conferences in Iasi; tea and pizza with my friends and loved one in Bucharest or Cluj; hot chocolat in Karma; the buildings and atmosphere in my town; traveling with the train; cold weather and snow; Christmas preparation in Romania; my room; my old photos; my mother and aunt; great days and nights spent in the Trestiana apartment with the girls; my best friends surprises; Beyonce concert ...

I truly feel happier here than I felt in Romania, especially in the last months before coming ... but I think some of the things can not just be cut from your heart and life without hurting at some point ... people and moments more than all :)

6 months ... :D Lovely ones!!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Hmmm ....


Less than 2 months ... 13th of January 2009 ... and 2 great people will start their experience in another part of this world ...

I have this on my mind everyday and I can not overpass it ... is simply hard ... and tonight hearing Raga and Javier talking about this, it just stroke me ... we have so few hours to spent together ...

In order for everybody to understand ... Raga (MCVPX) and Javier (Communication's Support Team Coordinator) are going to leave for good Dominican Republic in January ... Pato, Laura and me are going to represent the MC Team of AIESEC Dominican Republic from that point on. Main reason Raga is not feeling happy anymore here and he feels the country and the people are not suitable for him and his personality; Javier is finishing his internship here and he is thinking about his future steps in another country ...

How do I feel about it? I don't like it but I accept their decision! I truly believe people should enjoy their experience and stay in that place that makes them happy and that challenges them ... if that is not the case we will accept it and move on!

Is still hard because actually after so many months together, we found that connection, that thing that is making us perform ... we know things about us, we know how we react, what we like and dislike, what are our dreams and fears ... especially the four of us (Pato, Raga, Javi and me) that are sharing the same room, office, kitchen ... is like loosing your two bigger brothers ...

But as everything in life is a challenge, especially in this experience ... I think THE experience of my life from all points of view (people, environment,language, team, results, members, dreams, myself, etc.) we have to take a deep breath, don't panic and find solutions :P We already found Jennifer, the current LCP of AIESEC Santo Domingo as being Exchange Support to continue Raga's work and one of the new trainees to continue Javier's role :D

Considering the professional side I know for sure we can make it happen and built a new team beginning with January and achieve the dreams that we have :) but how about the feeling you have inside ... of loosing 2 best friends that you shared so much with ....

Some good time ago in a movie I heard a really interesting phrase that I used before and that I simply love and believe in ...

"Time is giving you back what you've lost thought wisdom and memories"
So it should be ;)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Viva La Vida

These days I am crazy about the song "Viva La Vida- Coldplay" ... is the first song I listen in the morning because it gives me a lot of energy and because represents so much the feelings I have right now :) Each time when I am talking about my feelings and that would be all the time in my blog ... I remember Srdjan telling me in IC that my blog could be a clear picture of what happens in my heart and soul, especially soul. Hmmm ... true ;)

Well what do I have on my mind and soul lately ... still happy :) but apart of that proud of us for the 20th Anniversary event we organized ... thankful to my friends ... thinking about the future ... striving to achieve more ... prepare for the changes that will come in January!

Most on my mind right now are the people around me ... friends here and all around the world. I was writing and posting a lot of photos on my blog about them ... me missing them a lot and hardly waiting to see them again! That is why these days I am crazy with finding out an answer to a simple question ... How does the magic of friendship work? How do you know which is that person that will be there for you during happy and sad moments, that person that you can trust 100%, that person that will understand, accept and never judge you? A partial answer I found ... you sometimes feel a big connection, you sometimes feel that connection but is a fake one, sometimes you simply don't but in end it comes to be incredible ...

As everything in life ... all is relative :)
But still .. what do you do when people you trusted the most disappoint you? What do you do when you slowly see beside your side a different person? You leave that person behind, you fight and try to find answers, you forgive her, you simply go further ... Depends on YOU as a person! I ... suffered a lot, but in time I realize I will not be fully happy if I will not forgive that person and move on ...

And still ... how do you react when from something that was almost nothing it just appears a flower? That in a person you ignored for some time you just discover one great and unique friend ... a person that can be close to your heart without any special reason, being far but still here, giving you energy in the morning and a big hug in the night. What do I do? Smile, accept and enjoy it! Be thankful and offer back that joy!!!

Conclusion ... friendship comes from the heart, if in time it will not resit that would be because simply it was not meant to be!Thank you all for teaching me this ... thank you my dear "secret" friend!


Some photos from the 20th Anniversary Event :)



The view from Palacio Constitorial, the place we organized the event



My speech in the beginning of the 20th Anniversary event




My favourite photos from the event ... Me, Felipe and Yoselin offering cake to the 13 MCPs present at the celebration :D

Saturday, November 1, 2008

The best present for me ;)

When I was born my father sent my mother one special present ... a flower called in Romanian, "Craciunita" ... a flower you usually find around Christmas in every house and store ... Its powerfull colors and a certain personality is bringing always a smile on my face ... it remembers me about Christmas in Cluj, presents, SNOW, Christmas tree, my family and friends ... December is a great month for me ... my birthday, Christmas, New Years Eve, simply love it and hardly waiting to spent it here with Mo, Pato, Javi, Jennifer ....

My friends from High School brought me a Craciunita, as a birthday present some 10 years ago :D my aunt some 5 years ago :D my father last year :D and last night one of the new members came in the office with a beautifull Craciunita :D
A little magic for me to end a great week ;)... the perfect present:) How about your perfect present?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

What does the rainbow mean to you?



This Saturday I've seen my first rainbow in Dominican Republic!
I love rainbows for the feelings I have each time I see them ... leaving something cloudy behind, starting a more shiny period of your life, enjoying the colors :D

I loved even more this rainbow, because it ended one special week for me ... a very busy and crazy one ... a week of rebuilding, recovering the motivation and energy ... after two months of fighting with myself and others, I rediscover myself and my true smile.

I was proud of ourselves for the event we organized, I cryed seing Miha and Lucki's photos in Belgium (I miss you so much!!! Ciuci!!!), I danced in the rain with Jennifer, I was at my first baseball game ... I felt and I feel happy :)

Main things I realize ... I have my friends around me, I am dicovering each day an incredible person, I am going to miss one person that challenged me the most in these months, I accept the situation but I don't give up ... because I know we will achieve our dreams!!!

I really feel incredible and I don't have a special reason for that ... I simply do :D

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My first "leapsa" :D

Thank you my dear Dey for passing me the "leapsa" :P my first time actually ;)
As I am a true blogger and I follow all your blogs at least once 2 days I was enjoying the songs you posted ... and imagined the thoughts you might have when listening to them ... great exercise :)

So about my favourite songs ... I have some Romanian songs that I received from Arrea before leaving and that I listen contantly because they remind me about my highschool and first years in AIESEC :p but like favourite favourite songs that I listen to in key moments of the day are the following ...

Morning song: Foo Fighters "Best of You"

video

The afternoon song: Damien Rice "The Blower's Daughter"

I received both of them for a special friend of mine and I enjoy them each time ;)
Hope you like them ...
Big hugs to all of you!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

5 months later ...

I feel happy, smiling ... things are getting better ... after another crazy week of ups and down and more than anything downs, I finish my week with the smile on my face ... feeling that we are team and we are fighting for the same dream! I know for sure is not going to be easy but I am also sure we are going to make it happen ;)

I miss in the same time my country ... autumn, cold weather ... Cluj, Bucharest, Iasi .... my friends, my MC, my girls, my mother and brother ... is a strange feeling of fulfillment with butterflies in my stomach when thinking about people, last year and IC in Brazil! I feel these persons and these experiences help me so much right now to keep on going, to have faith, to still have energy to smile, to take care of me!!!

Thank you for everything ... I miss you!!!













Friday, October 10, 2008

:)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Questions ...


Is 12: 23 am and I don't have any sleep ...

Why? Too many things happen around me/ us and I am still in the same situation of finding solutions ... I feel like a constant solution provider that is getting to the second, third, level ... but is never getting to the top ... more and more levels are built before me ...

My mind right now is filled with questions in an unclear order ... How do you make people around you care and live with passion? How do you change yourself in order to be more flexible, to take risks and believing in alternative solutions (not the black and white solutions I am always finding)? What are you doing next year? How come you don't want anybody close to your heart right now? How do you make people respect their word? What do you do with the US crises that is influencing our work more and more? How do you enjoy more, the time spent in a beautiful country? How come I am happy and worried in the same time?

My random thoughts right now ...

Monday, October 6, 2008

Little wonders!



Let it go
Let it row right off your shoulders
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will always just remember how it feels

All life is a :)
In these small hours
Feels little wonders ... these wisted turns of faith
Time falls away
These small hours
These small hours still remain

Let it sly
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it sly
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the HEART that really matters in the end

All life is a :)
In these small hours
Feels little wonders these wisted turns of faith
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours still remain

All of my regrets
Will wash away somehow
But I can not forget the way I feel right now ...

In these small hours
Feels little wonders ... these wisted turns of faith
And all these wisted turns of faith
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours still remain ....
Still remain
Feels little wonders .... these wisted turns of faith
Time falls away
But these small hours ... these little wonders still remain ....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvfWBEbNM7w&feature=related


My little wonders:
| Friends that care ... despite of time and space
| Feeling happy ... but still not being fully able to accept the differences
| Having two special people around that help me discover and enjoy
| One relaxing rainy weekend
| My dreams

Friday, October 3, 2008

...

You can call it cultural sock ... different perspective than you have, right or wrong ... I simply don't feel ok with it. This is the first time in 4 months I can say I am disappointed ... of the people here, their reactions, their way of doing things ....

I am usually a positive person that is feeling incredibly good with helping people and making the best out of hers and the others experiences ... but at this point I feel I gave all my energy, power and motivation to make something work ... and the results came, but not due to the people here ... due to us that made things happen.

And you say if you are in Rome due like Romanian do ... and if I don't want to ... if I don't want to lie, if I don't want to talk and not do anything, if for me the image is not important but being modest and work, if I don't want to make AIESEC here what it was before, if I don't want to be little, if I want to be efficient, structured and planned?

What do I do when everything that I believe in with my heart and mind is totally different compared with this reality ... when I feel is changing me both in positive and negative way?

Somebody tonight told me ... think about your DREAMS and fight for them ... don't handle the small things but the big ones that make you HAPPY ...

I am still here because I believe in me, my team and AIESEC ... so I am going to identify my NEW DREAM ... fight for it and my HAPPINESS

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Do you believe in love? :P


One of my best friends from elementary school, that was my soul mates for 8 years ... the person that changed me in so many ways, the crazy one out of the two of us, the one that was more powerful and smart, the person I always look up to ... is getting married, next year in April :) Congratulations Tincuta!!! :D

Finding out about her wedding ... thinking about our plans to be present to each others wedding ... about her changing so much ... about her life right now ... about us changing the roles (me being the crazy one), made me think a lot about me and my life. I am in Dominican Republic, I am not getting married for sure, I will not settle down, I want to travel and to see more, experiment and I am thinking ... do I have a problem? Why a lot of my friends are taking that step and I don't feel like doing that at least in the next two years?

Besides love, is marriage a social requirement? Yes at some point your friends, family are going to ask you ... "Child do you have a problem? Just tell us ... You are neither ugly or stupid ... why can't you find somebody to settle down, have some children and be happy?" I can hear them :P And I suppose the words "I just don't feel like are not going to satisfy anybody" :D

Not get me wrong I want to get married (even though Raga predicts that I am going to divorce at some point :D), I want to have 3 smart and crazy children, one beautiful and relaxing house in a city that I love, friends around me ... but the moment is not now or in the next year ... because I feel that if I would do that I will leave behind my freedom and my dreams of discovering and experimenting!

Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am not ... main conclusion ... each of us is going to do that step sooner or later depending on his/her feelings :) Right? :P

Casa de piatra!!! :D

Friday, September 26, 2008

To laugh often and much!


It is not the critic who counts;
Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,
Or where the doer of deeds could have done better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
Whose face is marred by dust, sweat and blood;
Who strives valiantly;
Who errs, and comes short again and again;
Who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions,
Who spends himself in a worthy cause;
Who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
And who at the worst,
If he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls
Who know neither victory nor defeat.


Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than
Unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not;
Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
To reach out to another is to risk involvement
To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss
To live is to risk dying
To try is to risk failure
But the risk must be taken, because the greater hazard in life is to risk nothing
The person who risks nothing, does nothing and is nothing
He may avoid suffering, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, live
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave
Only a person who risks is free
Take a risk!

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded!



Life is hard no doubt about it ... especially when a lot of the things that you believe in, disappear ...
But my question is ... who has the power to change that? Who has the energy to overpass everything?

Each of us ... realizing it or not!
After 3 days of being frustrated about people's reactions, culture, commitments I realized I have to change something as soon as possible! And in order to do that I have to face it first, accept it and find a solution, together ... because that is the only way I will be able to live this experience at the fullest, to smile and laugh at the end of a day!!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Keep on going, with a smile on your face!



Random thoughts .... many feelings, that I can not compress in a clear order ...


| Relationships ... love, friendships, family, work ... come and go ... but more important than anything are the things you take out of them and who are those people you will never let go ... My friends that think about me; that write me their thoughts, their concerns, their happiness; the people I can learn from, people that challenge me. Most importantly is the trust you have in them and them in you; ... Most importantly is to pass the barrier of culture and paradigm, to see objectively and to care.

Being in Switzerland 3 years ago with AIESEC, we met a Romanian that was living for the last 20 years there and she told us like that "I am feeling good here, I have everything that I need ... but still I need my home, my country ... because it doesn't matter in which country you will go and you will do your best, they (the locals) are not going to see you as their own ... they will always accept your point of view or not; they will always express it face to face or more covered ... but the message is going to be the same ... you are not from here so you will never understand the situation in this country".

In the last days, I passed through the same experiences here ... people that are too full of themselves in order to see the reality, the objectives facts; people that don't care about people around them, they don't even care about their own experience; people that don't appreciate team work, results brought by the team; people that think that avoiding the truth is going to help them on a longer term; people that tell in your face that you are a foreigner and you don't understand and you don't care ...

I felt the same frustration in the beginning of this year when I was trying to understand how people don't look further that an image, don't see the results, the passion, the dedication and time ... and what can we do about it? change the people? change yourself? change the things you are doing? abandon them and leave? NO!!!! Simply care more about final results, your dreams for that year, the way the things are done, yourself, your plans ... and then care about what are the people saying! Be more clear with the messages you are transmitting! Trust in yourself! Enjoy!

| These days I also realize something about me ... I care a lot about people around me, especially the people I can feel close to my heart ... and its more easy for me to forget and forgive, because I can understand ... still that happens only when people also care and demonstrate that back ... when we can pass over challenges, mistakes, the unique way of being of each person ... and communicate; express our feelings, be sincere; share; plan; be together in the same room or in the same universe :)

Thank you Patri, Raga and Roxi for making my day!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

"Success is a Journey Not a Destination and you're living it!"


I always loved this team building game ...The "Johari Window" :D
Talking about who is ... Malina for Malina. Malina for others....


"A child full of life" still "Too serious and responsible" :P


Malina for others ... are actually more Malinas ... the very serious and involved one; that is smiling but not that much; that is speaking lauder and begins to blush; that is sometimes too involved with her heart and mind! ... the loving one; the child that needs protection and care; the one that loves to be surrounded by people; that loves to play and discover; the religious one, how somebody calls me because of my innocence! ... the one that thinks a lot before taking a decision; the one that is couscous; the one that is trying to make everything equal for everybody! ... the one that doesn't want to hurt nobody; that takes everybody into consideration and is afraid to say at some point, let's do it my way; ... the one that is ready to go to Dominican Republic for a dream and a feeling! ... the child and the mum in the same time!


Malina for Malina is ...


Loving life and people. Shy. Dynamic.Frustrated when people don't care about the things around them. Trying to see life in grey but she actually a lot of times sees it in black and white. Strong and looking for support in the same time. Flexible. Believing in freedom. Looking for the sun. Trying to get the best out of people. Too modest. Passionate. Forgiving. Challenging constantly herself. Enjoying sports and nature. Loving music. Happy, living for a dream!

I changed a lot during the years and I still am changing in this ... second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year in Dominican Republic but my importantly I learnt during these period ... to care and never be frightened about my mistakes ... to love even though at some point you might be hurt ... not to compare myself with other people ... that I am a rich person!

Change is the only thing that is permanent!



One poster that Raga brought from Romania was saying that "Change is the only thing that is permanent" ... and until this morning when the same Raga noticed the similarity between the poster and our situation ... I didn't connected the dots :)

Our story in AIESEC Dominican Republic as a national team started more or less 4 months ago ... since then we defined our dreams, we planned, split responsibilities ... more exactly our dreams never changed ... but God knows how many times our planning and splitting responsibilities changed until now ... we just lived this yesterday, when we've met a company that wants to involve us a lot in what in means their development in Dominican Republic (TN's, projects, recruitment) ... so the planning that we did after IC was totally changed ...

And now the big question comes ... is that ok? For sure for us and especially for me is a permanent feeling of being insecure ... of asking yourself if you can do anything more in order to stop that from happening; and my conclusion after a lot of thinking was that, considering our situation: 4 foreigners and one local (2 Europeans, 3 Latin Americans) working in an environment totally different of what they've been accustomed with; 2 of us starting their term without knowing spanish; not knowing the market (students, companies, NGO); the culture, the way of being and working of the people; not knowing the history; not having the financial resources in order to sustain yourself; being in a country that has a lot of potential; with 20 years of AIESEC history; AND having big dreams of: leaving a legacy behind (sustainability from all points of view), having an impact in the society and gaining the full membership ... is not easy to plan something and take it to the end.

Why? Because simply when you are doing the planning you don't know anything ... we did our planning in the transition with Felipe, Paula and Marisol ... and it was absolutely different of the things that we can really achieve (sometimes too optimistic and sometimes too pessimistic) ... we were like blind people that were trying to find their way back home.

In the beginning it comes the frustration ... how come you can not achieve what you've planned ... how come you can not have one thing that is sure? And the answer is simple ... you are like in a "business start up" when you know your dreams and you are totally engaged in achieving them, you have the energy and the power but you don't know what is going to wait for you there ... you are making constant mistakes and you have to have the drive and trust in yourself to get up and continue ... but continue in another way! Definitely not simple but you have to do it! You spot so many opportunities and you have the tendency of picking up everything, to get involved in everything ... until you realize you can not do it, one because you don't have the man power to do it and secondly that at one point you will not be able to do all of them good ...

So the lessons we've learnt:

1. TEST. Have the openness from the beginning to see what are the things that the local environment can offer you and analise them, but in an objective way.

2. FOCUS. Choose from the things that you identified, the ones that involves less resources and bring you most results. Don't loose the big picture, your final image at the end of the term!

3. DIVERSIFY. Think about diverse ways of doing things, of diverse activities that can bring you the resources that you need. Have plan A, B, C, D! Be couscous ... because you never know what may happen especially in a society that you don't know that much.

4. TRUST YOURSELF
as a team, as an individual .... trust in your dreams because everything will guide you there. You have to know what are the things that you bring in this "game" ... what can you rely on, when your world is constantly moving. Accept the people how they are and build on their strenghts. Have the right person doing the right activity (I know this sounds so KPI and CSF like :P but is so true) even though that is not in his/hers job description ... have the guts to say this structure is not good, let's change it!

5. BE POSITIVE. Be down and have the power to smile and trust that the things will be for the best. See the sun at the end of a hurricane :) See the beauty around you, because dirt you can find anywhere.

6. LIVE
each moment to the fullest!!! Be happy with what you have!


ONE Unique experience ... changing everyday!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My month! Brazil, Caracas! Lovely!

My last post, one month ago ... preparing for IC 2008, Brazil ... my expectations ... to achieve my dreams ... to promote Dominican Republic and to visit Brazil!!! What really happened is hard to express in words ... one of the best trips of my life!


The Trip.


Sunday.

Flying with a charter plane thanks to one of our Alumnus that we've met 4 days before leaving. Being almost close to lose the plane because we were lost on the way to the airport. We stopped In Caracas, Venezuela for one day where we found some incredible AIESECers, Thais and Bernando that picked us from the airport, took us to eat and then offered us a place to sleep for the night. First impressions: Caracas is an incredible city, surrounded by hills that offer a special flavour to the city .... still a dangerous country (first time I heard about kidnap express and special places where by any chance you should go) managed in a Communist way! The people ... lovely ... you had the feeling you know them since you were little!!! Crazy, energetic!Passionate!


Monday.


Taking the plane to Sao Paulo, Brazil. Relaxed trip done by my own. Meeting the AIESEC guys in the airport due to my red AIESEC Cluj recruitment T-shirt with "I am an AIESECer" :D. Arriving at the PreMeeting location. Oh my God ... I can not express in word my feelings at that point ... couldn't believe we got to IC, couldn't believe we arrived in Brazil, couldn't believe I was meeting ... Mo, Felipe, Dora, Vladutz, Silvia, Iulian, Mada after 3 months ... my friends MCPs after IPM ... Juan Manuel, Dante after one year!!! Beautiful ... I was feeling fulfilled, happy, proud. Talking till 4 am in the morning about my experience, my new life, my new me ... gossiping, God I missed that ... finding about other stories and other lives. Going back to sleep, some guy occupied my bed but still was welcoming me dearly to sleep with him ... The PreMeeting was reminding me so much about our NPS and the crazy situation we had at that point with beds and accommodation. Funny :P

Tuesday, Wednesday. PreMeeting

Meeting people from IGN ... my GN now :D
Feeling useful (having a finance training :p) and happy to be there together with Felipe, the GN Board and MCs from Latin America.
Energy. Passion. Sharing!

Thursday. Opening, Global Village

Interesting, colourful opening ... definitely I had the feeling Portuguese is a strange language ... kind of a different Romanian (for them juice is "sucu" for Romanians is "suc" :D ).Yoselin, our Awarded Alumni arrives and everybody was asking us who is she and why is she so involved!
Global Village ... a total success ... Dominican Republic was at its best :P

We got to the incredible 5 stars hotel and I was sharing a room with a guy, one of the few mixed rooms ...My roomy LCP from China that I saw in the first day and talked about 30 minutes and that was it ... during the conference I just saw him in the morning sleeping and from once in a while in the sessions.

Friday 22nd till Saturday 30th. International Congress

One unique feeling of being again in a huge conference with people from over 106 countries, this year with more Alumni and Partners involved due to the 60th Anniversary ... feeling like a small piece in a big puzzle ... wanted to gather all the images and words in a bag and bring them back home :) Still one year later after Turkey I was living a different experience in IC. I was feeling I am 50% there in the conference agenda and flow and other 50% with my friends and with my MCP responsibilities ... and I was feeling so good. The conversations we had, the fun, the stories, the ideas filled me with energy, passion and determination.

Once more if that was again necessary I realized an IC is about the people, and that for me personally being around people is the most important thing in order to feel at my best, to enjoy and to perform. Having fun with David; learning from Hugo; remembering IPM with Lukas and Roman; talking about our future steps with Lore; gossiping with Mo, Mada, Glori; sharing our crazy lives with Vladutz; Lucas being there for me; delivering trainings with Moru; talking about ourselves with Mo and Felipe; asking for constant help from Silvia; coaching with Iulian :D; finance support for different people; meeting new and lovely AIESECers .... people that impressed me with their wormth, crazy attitude and persistence.

After these days ...

-> I felt healthier ... I ate a lot of special fruits, vegetables ... and the best cakes I've eaten in my life
-> I know for sure special friendships will never end, even thought you are on the other part of the world
-> I imagined my end of the term and exactly what I want to leave behind
-> I love the connection I have with some of the MCPs in the network ... having trust that they can support you and that you can enjoy this experience together with them
-> I am even more confused about what I want to do in my next year ...
-> I am truly Colombian deep inside :P

During the conference due to some dear people to me I decided to make my trip even more interesting and go to RIO DE JANEIRO. I was dreaming one night about Rio and about my wish to go there so ... I talked with Mo, asked for a loan from Raga and Mo, talked with Marco about finding us a home there and the plan was done :D

Saturday 30th in the night we were on our way to Rio de Janeiro!!!

In Rio but also during my experience in Dominican Republic I have a constant feeling of being incredibly lucky!

Why? Because I have some exceptional friends and people around me that care ... that offer me everything ... that support me and challenge me; because I find ways (many times with the help of the same friends) of leaving my financial situation behind in order not to affect my dreams and my experiences; because I am living an incredible powerful experience in a country that is teaching me so much; because I feel happy with the person I am right now and with my life!!!

One example. I was dreaming about going to Brazil since I was a little girl ... the reason was not really clear for me ... I was watching the Brazilian movies and the image of Rio in the night, Corcovado and the landscape fascinated me!!! And from that point on ... I knew I have to go there, when and how I didn't have any clue ... And how the dreams really come true if you are bold enough to fight for them and to say them out loud ... it did for me!!! One of the few big dreams I had ... came true!!! Me being in Rio de Janeiro, besides the huge statue during sunset ... seeing all the incredible city lighting up ... having some great people around me ... the feeling of not wanting to leave that place ... a place so colourful, quiet, cozy ... I couldn't believe it my eyes!!! One unique view!
And my 3 days in Rio finished with saying goodbye to Mo ...

Wednesday 3rd of September. Back to Sao Paulo

Having a relaxing day walking and visiting ... seeing the huge city and its buildings together with Marco, Dante and Martha; going with the bus 1h and 30 minutes to get to a park; admiring the infrastructure they developed; experience the fact that nobody knows how to get to a specific place in the city due to its incredible big dimensions ... and saying goodbye to Marco ... one special angel of mine that I discovered during this IC!


Thursday 4th of September. Back to Caracas


Meeting Mauro and other smart and funny Venezuelan people :P ... visiting Avila, one of the most beautiful places they have in Caracas ... becoming more and more frustrated about the political, economical, etc. system there; that they don't encourage young people to remain in the country ... Farmatodo, a new concept of pharmacy with everything from medicine to vegetables ... living in a Venezuelan family ... offering support ... Finding out that you can not return home because of the hurricane and the fact that you don't have any more places in the plane ... buying from your two months salary the plane tickets back, 900 USD ...

Sunday 7th of September. Back to Santo Domingo


Definitely... feelings, dreams and people ... all in pictures ...



Dominican Republic from the plane!




Global Village!



My dear friends ... Foaie verde Cluj!



Is good to be ... is good to be an MCP ... especially when you are so nice dressed :P



My girls! This is a picture for MC 0708 AIESEC ROMANIA :D



I was dreaming with this ... Rio ... sunset ...



Corcovado!!!



Mo and Marco :)



Caracas :)

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Brazil!

In 2 hours I am leaving for IC in Brazil ... one dream since I was little to visit this country ... 3 tought months trying to get the money in order to get there ... one miracle once more and I will be able not only to fulfill my dream but ... to represent my country, Dominican Republic ... to be a facilitator on the finance track together with Moru and Alberto ... to meet my friends ... to enjoy an interesting trip through Venezuela ... and to be happy :)

I have some strange feelings about these 3 weeks ... being incredibly enthusiastic but also kind of scared ... honestly I don't know why ... but it should be something unbelivable, right?

So as the words in the Romanian MC Office were saying ... Brazil here we come!!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Team Iasi is what? :D

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Sun and storm



In the last days I feel my head can not stop thinking, wondering, smiling and being puzzled about people around me, about situations, about the things each of us feels, about what makes us happy ... and the poem in spanish is about that ... about us and toughts we have each day ... about the learnings time is offering us ...

The feeling I have right now is like the weather here in Santo Domingo ... a incredible powerfull sun and then an incredible powerfull storm followed again by the sun ... Never know what will wait for you tomorrow, but you are positive the sun is going to wake you up once more :D

Thinking and analyzing ... maybe sometimes too much ...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Learning ...


APRENDIENDO -Jorge Luis Borges


"Después de un tiempo, uno aprende la sutil diferencia entre sostener una mano y encadenar un alma, y uno aprende que el amor no significa acostarse y una compañía no significa seguridad, y uno empieza a
aprender...

Que los besos no son contratos y los regalos no son
promesas, y uno empieza a aceptar sus derrotas con la
cabeza alta y los ojos abiertos, y uno aprende a
construir todos sus caminos en el hoy
, porque el
terreno de mañana es demasiado inseguro para planes...
Y los futuros tienen una forma de caerse en la mitad.

Y después de un tiempo uno aprende que si es
demasiado, hasta el calor del sol quema. Así que uno
planta su propio jardín y decora su propia alma
, en
lugar de esperar a que alguien le traiga flores.

Y uno aprende que realmente puede aguantar, que uno
realmente es fuerte
, que uno realmente vale, y uno
aprende y aprende... y con cada día uno aprende.

Con el tiempo aprendes que estar con alguien porque te
ofrece un buen futuro significa que tarde o temprano
querrás volver a tu pasado.

Con el tiempo comprendes que sólo quien es capaz de
amarte con tus defectos, sin pretender cambiarte,
puede brindarte toda la felicidad que deseas.

Con el tiempo te das cuenta de que si estás al lado de
esa persona sólo por acompañar tu soledad,
irremediablemente acabarás no deseando volver a verla.


Con el tiempo entiendes que los verdaderos amigos son
contados, y que el que no lucha por ellos tarde o
temprano se verá rodeado sólo de amistades falsas.

Con el tiempo aprendes que las palabras dichas en un
momento de ira pueden seguir lastimando a quien
heriste, durante toda la vida.

Con el tiempo aprendes que disculpar cualquiera lo
hace, pero perdonar es sólo de almas grandes.

Con el tiempo comprendes que si has herido a un amigo
duramente, muy probablemente la amistad jamás volverá
a ser igual.

Con el tiempo te das cuenta que aunque seas feliz con
tus amigos, algún día llorarás por aquellos que
dejaste ir.

Con el tiempo te das cuenta de que cada experiencia
vivida con cada persona es irrepetible
.

Con el tiempo te das cuenta de que el que humilla o
desprecia a un ser humano, tarde o temprano sufrirá
las mismas humillaciones o desprecios multiplicados al
cuadrado.

Con el tiempo aprendes a construir todos tus caminos
en el hoy, porque el terreno del mañana es demasiado
incierto para hacer planes.

Con el tiempo comprendes que apresurar las cosas o
forzarlas a que pasen ocasionará que al final no sean
como esperabas.

Con el tiempo te das cuenta de que en realidad lo
mejor no era el futuro, sino el momento que estabas
viviendo justo en ese instante
.

Con el tiempo verás que aunque seas feliz con los que
están a tu lado, añorarás terriblemente a los que ayer
estaban contigo y ahora se han marchado.

Con el tiempo aprenderás que intentar perdonar o pedir
perdón, decir que amas, decir que extrañas, decir que
necesitas, decir que quieres ser amigo, ante una
tumba, ya no tiene ningún sentido.

Pero desafortunadamente, solo con el tiempo..."


Thank you Javi :)
 
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